Randy Pausch's Update page

兰迪.波许|1960-2008

Randy Pausch passed away on Friday, July 25, 2008.

兰迪.波许于昨日(7/25/2008)凌晨4时去世,享年47岁。

2008年7月25日

Randy died this morning of complications from pancreatic cancer. The CMU news story is here
兰迪今天上午死于胰腺癌并发症。卡内基梅隆大学的新闻公告在这里。

2008年7月24日：癌症扩展

A biopsy last week revealed that the cancer has progresed further than we had thought from recent PETscans. Since last week, Randy has also taken a step down and is much sicker than he had been. He's now enrolled in hospice. He's no longer able to post here so I'm a friend posting on his behalf because we know that many folks are watching this space for updates.

上周活检发现肿瘤扩展得比我们原先从最近的正电子影像扫描结果判断的还要广 。自上周 来，兰迪走了下坡路病加重了很多。他现已入善终安宁疗护。他已不再再发贴，我是一个朋友代他发贴因为我们知道，许多人都来这里看更新。

2008年6月26日：缓慢，但继续在恢复

I continue to slowly recover. Chemotherapy has a cumulative effect, so it takes longer to recover the deeper one gets into this.

Our current thinking is that more chemotherapy may not be wise; at this point, almost all potential chemotherapies may potentially make me so weak/sick that even if they were to slow the tumor, it would not be clear it would be the right tradeoff.

We are currently narrowing down some immunuotherapy-based apporaches that would presumably come with little or no side effects. More news as that proceeds.

我继续缓慢恢复。化疗有一个累积效应，所以做得越多,要恢复的时间也越长。

我们目前的想法是，更多的化疗未必明智;现在, 几乎所有潜在的化疗都可能使我更虚弱/病倒，即使能延缓肿瘤生长，也是得不偿失。

目前，我们正在缩小范围, 找一些应该很少或没有副作用的基于免疫治疗的方案。有进展的话会有更多消息。

Today's box score:

Creatanine (kidney function): 2.2

CA19-9 (tumor marker): 1400

Blood Pressure: 120 / 70

Weight: 142

今天的记分板：

 
肌酸酐 （肾功能） ： 2.2
CA19 - 9（肿瘤标记） ： 1400
血压： 120 / 70

体重： 142

2008年6月21日： 美国国会纪录

Back in the fall when I testified before Congress, representative Roybal-Allard hosted me,and she was also kind enough to have this very flattering entry put into the congressional record...

Health-wise, I continue to regain strength in the hopes of trying another treatment once I'm strong enough.

秋天我在国会作证时，议员罗艺波 -阿拉德招待的我，她还把这篇溢美的文章发表在<<国会纪事>>上...

健康方面，继续恢复，希望体力能好到再试另一种治疗。

2008年6月15日：快意父亲节

We had a great day here at the Pausch household; the kids made matching tie-dye shirts for me and them (note! Tie-dye stays on skin quite a while!). I'll try to get a photo up shortly.

Health-wise, I'm slowly bouncing back from the last round of chemo. Last Thursday's PET scan showed that the cancer continues to grow, but is still more restrained in its rate of growth than it might be, which is good.

我们家过了一个很棒的一天，孩子们为我和他们做提匹配的扎染衬衫，（注！扎染在皮肤上会呆挺长时间！ ） 。我会争取不久就传张照片上来。

健康方面，我慢慢从上一轮的化疗中恢复过来。上周四的正电子影像扫描显示肿瘤继续增长，但速度不是很快，还不错。

2008年6月10日: 布什总统的信

While I don't have any way of validating it authenticity, nor do I have an particular reson to do doubt it - this arrived recently (click on letter for larger, readable image.)

我没法证明这封信是真的, 但也没理由怀疑这是伪造的-最近收到的(点击图像放大阅读).

2008年5月28日：化疗反应不佳

Well, I ran 101 fever for three days, did a bunch of vomiting, and was too sick to really get out of bed for 5 or 6 days. Needless to say, that chemo isn't our winning combination. Back to the drawing board...

啊，我发了三天高烧，呕吐多次，病倒在床5,6天。不消说，这个化疗不对路, 重新开始...

2008年5月20日：重回化疗

We tried a new regimen today: (eribitux + ironotecan). Blood pressure has now been undercontrol nicely and we figured I was strong enough to give it a try.

我们试了新的配伍： （西妥昔单抗  + 依利替康 ） 。血压现已控制的很好，我们想我身体已经能够接受化疗了。

2008年5月18日：完美的一天！

Everyone should have a day this perfect in their lives. Carnegie Mellon flew Jai and me up to Pittsburgh to attend graduation. I had the honor of giving the charge to the graduates at the end of the ceremony. Even the weather cooperated to make it a perfect day with the sun breaking through the rain clouds as the ceremony started. I also got to speak briefly to the SCS and ETC commencement ceremonies. It was wonderful to see all of our old friends and colleagues and I was very touched by the invitation.

My three minute address and dramatic ending ---------------->

每个人的生命中都应该有个如此完美的一天。卡内基梅隆大学用飞机接我和洁到匹兹堡参加毕业典礼。我很荣幸的在典礼最后向毕业生做了赠言。甚至老天也合作，仪式开始时太阳便穿云而出。我也到计算机学院和娱乐科技中心的毕业仪式做了简短发言。见到那么多同事和老朋友的感觉真是好极了，我也很感激我能被邀请。

2008年5月13日：体力慢慢恢复

I'm sorry I haven't posted much recently; there just hasn't been too much notable going on. Mostly, I'm resting and rebuilding strength. Today has been my best day in a while; I took at 2 hour nap in the afternoon, but other that that have been up and active all day.

抱歉最近没有多更新，主要是没什么大变化。大多是休息和恢复体力。今天我最近以来最好的一天，我下午睡了2小时，但其它时间都起来在活动。

Today's box score:

Creatanine (kidney function): 2.8

CA19-9 (tumor marker): 634

Blood Pressure: 135 / 85

今天的记分板：
肌酸酐 （肾功能） ： 2.8
CA19 - 9（肿瘤标记） ： 634
血压： 135 / 85

2008年5月10日： 嗡轰!

For Mother's Day, we managed to arrange to have Jai get away for a night in a local hotel, where she was able to sleep in until 9am; a truly rare treat for a mother of three little kids!

We also took a spin in a "kit car" of a 1965 Shelby Cobra.

母亲节，我们让洁在当地酒店脱身住了一晚，她在那里睡到早上九时;对一个有三个小孩的妈妈来说是真正难得的礼物！

我们也开了辆1965年谢尔比眼镜蛇“散装”跑车兜了兜风。

2008年5月2日：癌症蔓延

Yesterday's PET scan showed that I have very tiny (5mm or less) metastases in my lungs and some lymph nodes in my chest. I also have some metastases in my peritoneum and retroperitoneum cavities (basically, inside my abdomen).

This is unfortunate, but we knew it would happen sooner or later, and we've been able to stave it off much longer than anticipated, so I'm very grateful for that.

My current strategy is to continue to recover from the heart and kidney failure, and once I'm strong enough, then we'll either do the SIR-Spheres or some systemic chemo, depending on the relative growth of the liver and non-liver tumors.

昨天的正电子影像扫描表明，我的肺和一些胸部淋巴结有很小（ 5毫米或以下）的转移灶。在我的腹膜及腹膜腔（就是在我的肚子里）也有一些转移， 。

不幸的消息，但我们知道它迟早会发生，我们已经让它比预期的来得晚很多了，我对此非常知足。

我目前的策略是要继续从心肾功能衰竭中恢复，一旦我体力够好，那视肝脏和非肝脏肿瘤的增长情况, 做选择性体内微珠放射治疗或全身化疗。

2008年4月28日："时间管理" 讲座一路谷歌

This may seem weird, but the lecture I'm personally most proud of is a lecture on "Time Management" I've given for many years. With much help from Gabe Robins, I had a nice video of it made last fall at the University of Virginia, and we've made that video available for anyone to use for any purpose, commercial or otherwise. It's on Google Video.

I am insanely proud that if you type "time management" into Google, there are 50 million relevant pages, but that lecture is (at least today), the #1 hit. Cool!.

熟悉我的人知道我实际上最感到骄傲的讲座是我历年来的"时间管理" 讲座。

很多人可能觉得难以置信, 但我个人最骄傲的是我历年来的“时间管理”讲座。靠盖碧.罗宾斯鼎立相助，我去年秋天在美国弗吉尼亚大学的做了个很好的录像，把它放在谷歌视频上, 不管是否是用于商业目的, 公众都可以自由使用。

让我欣喜若狂的是，如果您在谷歌键入“时间管理” ，会查到5000万相关网页，但我的讲座是（至少今天），第一名。酷！

2008年4月27日：仍在恢复

I'm in the process of slowly getting my strength back. Once we have demonstarated we can keep the blood pressure down, then we can dial back on the blood pressure meds, which are causing a good part of the fatigure.

Several people have expressed concern about the tumor marker. True, it's going up. But by the time this is over, it'll probably be over 5,000, so don't worry too much just yet!

我的体力在慢慢恢复。一旦我们确定能保持血压不升高，那我们就可以减抗高血压药 ，它们是造成疲劳的一个重要因素。

Today's box score:

Creatanine (kidney function): 3.1

CA19-9 (tumor marker): 404

Blood Pressure: 130 / 82

今天的记分板：

肌酸酐 （肾功能） ： 3.1

CA19 - 9（肿瘤标记） ： 404

血压： 130 / 82

2008年4月19日：最近的就诊和我的健康

For those of you scoring the game at home, see today's box score.

I'm recovering much faster this time from the congestive heart failure (practice makes perfect, I guess). I'm still hideously fatigued, but today I was out of bed most of the day.

Two of my favorite people, MR Kesley and Jessica Hodgins have been visiting, which is wonderful and has buoyed my spirits!

对于那些留意记分的朋友，看今天的记分板。

我这次从充血性心力衰竭中的恢复要快得多 （无他，惟手熟尔） 。我仍然非常疲倦，但今天我大部分时间没有卧床不起。

我最喜欢的的两个人，凯尔西和杰西卡.霍金斯来访, 让我精神为之一振！

Today's box score:

Creatanine (kidney function): 3.2

CA19-9 (tumor marker): 295

Blood Pressure: 134 / 88

今天的记分板：

肌酸酐 （肾功能） ： 3.2

CA19 - 9（肿瘤标记） ： 295

血压： 134 / 88

4月18日：我只关心头三本...

Hyperion sent me a nice plaque ... apparently the book we did (for which the credit goes to Jeff Zaslow), has become a #1 best seller.

Hyperion says they're about to have two million copies in print, but all I cared about was the first 3 copies.

海波公司送给我一个的精美匾牌...显然我们（应归功于杰夫.莱斯娄 ）的这本书已成为一个头号畅销书。

海波说，他们大约要出两百万册，但我关心的只是前3本。

2008年4月16日：赞美药瓶的优秀设计

On the left you can see the total number of medications I'm currently taking. Keeping all this straight is a nightmare.

I'm really impressed with Target's unique design (see right). The bottles stand on their caps, there's a large flat surface, and they make the font as large as will fit. This is a wonderful example of "design making the world a better place."

在左边你可以看到我目前要服用的所有药物，。安排服药本身就是一场噩梦。

Target超市的药瓶真是设计独特 （见右） 。瓶子可倒立放置，瓶身是大平面，标识字体做的尽可能的大。这是一个 “设计使世界更美好” 美妙例证。

4月15日： 克娄依和辛迪娄

Thanks to my friend Jack, who pointed out recently that Chloe and Cindy Lou Hoo appear to be separated at birth!

感谢我的朋友杰克最近指出，克娄依和辛迪娄(人物来自<<圣诞怪杰/格林奇偷走圣诞节>> )好似孪生姐妹！
 

2008年4月15日：心力衰竭二进宫

E ck. Yesterday's visit to the cardiologist showed that I'm technically back in heart failure. My "ejection fraction" (basically, heart output) dropped back down to 30%.

The good news is that only 24 hours later, the medications they put me on have put my blood pressure back in the normal range, and the diuretics have caused me to drop 4 pounds of water weight; both of which were doubtless contributors. It wasn't serious enough to land me back in the hospital, and I'm hopeful we'll have this turned around pretty quickly. The major bummer is that the blood pressure meds make me fatigued.

糟糕。昨天看了心脏科大夫，我在技术上又有心衰。我的“射血分数” （基本上即心输出量）跌回到30 ％ 。

好消息是，仅仅24小时后，他们就用药把我的血压降到正常，利尿剂排水让我减了4磅的重量;两者无疑都有帮助。情况还没有严重到需要重新住院的程度，我希望我们能迅速扭转局面。主要的副作用是抗高血压药让我感到疲倦。

I spent all day Thursday at the Univ. of Maryland, being seen by fantastic doctors. I am now qualified for this treatment.

Jai & I now need to decide how much longer I need to regain my strength before we might pursue this.

Oh, the picture here has nothing to do with the text; I just thought it was a great photo of Chloe!

我周四一整天在马里兰大学, 由出色的医生们给我看诊。我现在有资格接受这一治疗。

在尝试做这个之前, 洁和我先要决定我需要多长时间来恢复体力。

哦，这张照片与文字毫无关联，我只是觉得这是克娄依的一个靓照！

2008年4月11日：罗滨传递奥运圣火！

Robin Luo, a fellow cancer patient (see below; she's the one who got "the elephant in the room") was an olympic torch carrier - how cool is that!

罗滨，一个癌症病友（见2008年2月11日文，她是哪个拿到 "屋中的大象" 的人 ）做奥运火炬手-是不是很酷！

Well, I'm not quite back on the bike, but I'm healthy enough to travel and move forward with treatment. Tomorrow I'm spending the day at the University of Maryland being evaluted to see if I am a candidate for the SIR-Spheres treatment.

Basically, it's a process where a large number of tiny (thinner than human hair) spheres are irradiated with Yittrium-90 and then squirted into the artery that feeds the liver. They preferentially go towards tumors (counter-intuitive, but true), and both block blood flow to the tumors and irradiate them.

2008年4月9日：为下一步做好准备

嗯，还没到能骑车锻炼的程度，但已经能旅行和继续治疗。明天一天我要在马里兰大学被评估, 看是否能做选择性体内微珠放射治疗(改为中文链接, 译注)。

基本上，该疗法是把大量含放射性物质钇-90的微珠（比头发还细）注入肝动脉。这些微珠大多流向肿瘤（与直觉相反，但确实如此）, 同时照射和阻断肿瘤的血供。

2008年4月8日：新书首发，媒体疯狂

The book went on sale today. Lots of media outlets ran stories, which is very nice of them.

Diane Sawyer is running a special tomorrow (Wednesday) night at 10pm on ABC. People who know what I'm really like will doubtless be throwing tomatoes at the screen ;-)

书上市销售。很多媒体发报道，挺好。

明天（周三）晚上10时在美国广播公司的戴安·索耶会有一个专题节目。真知道我的人肯定要向屏幕砸西红柿;-)

2008年4月2日：重新战斗

For those of you familiar with boxing, I would describe the weeks since my heart & kidney failure to be a "standing eight count." I got knocked down pretty good and needed time to gather myself. Now I'm back on my feet; still a little wobbly, but ready to engage in the fight again.

Yesterday's CT and MRI scans showed that I've added a new, 11th tumor (small), and that a few of my original 10 tumors have grown, but only negligibly so. My biggest tumor is about 2.5cm in diameter. Given that I've been off chemo for six weeks, this was jumping-up-and-down good news, for two reasons:

1) It means the cancer has not grown like craxy, a big fear since stopping chemo.

2) Since all my tumors are in my liver, that means certain liver-specific treatments are possible.

I'm typing this from a recovery room; I just had a biopsy taken of my tumor tissue; that will be sent to TGEN in arizona, where they will run some tests to see if they can identify which chemotherapy drugs might be most effective on my particular tumors.

My next step will probably be embolization with theraspheres; a liver specific treatment that has a very low rate of side effects, and won't make me feel crappy like systemic chemo does.

The fight is rejoined; I've got much more energy now -- I hope to be back on the bike in a week or so.

对于你们那些熟悉拳击的人，我会形容我心肾功能衰竭的这几个星期是"数八秒" 。我被打倒的够惨, 需要时间来休整。现在算是站起来了;还有点不稳，但随时准备再战。

昨天的CT与MRI扫描显示我有了一个新的，第11个（小）肿瘤，我原来的10个肿瘤中的一些也长大了，但只有一点点而已。我最大的肿瘤直径约2.5厘米。在六个星期没有化疗的情况下，这可是令人欢呼雀跃的好消息，原因有两点：

1 ）癌细胞并没有疯长 ，停化疗后一直担心这个。

2 ）我所有的肿瘤都在肝脏，这意味着可尝试一些肝脏特异的靶向疗法。

我现在是在恢复室打这些; 刚刚从我的肿瘤组织中取了一个活检，这将被送往在亚利桑那州的翻译基因组学研究院，他们将做一些测试看是否能找出对我的肿瘤最有效的化疗药。

我的下一步可能会是肝动脉栓塞加微珠放射治疗; 这是一个肝脏特异性疗法，副作用机率很低，也不会象全身化疗那样让我我感觉很糟糕。

战斗继续，我精力已经强多了，-我希望再过一周左右我就又能骑自行车锻炼了。

Today's news brought the sad report that Dith Pran, one of the great heros of all time, and the inspiration behind the film The Killing Fields, just died from pancreatic cancer. Details are in this story.

Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge regime failed to kill Mr. Pran.

It took pancreatic cancer only three months from diagnosis.

今天的新闻传来不幸的消息，狄潘 ，一个跨时代的伟大英雄，电影杀戮之地的灵魂人物，刚刚死于胰腺癌。详情见这个报道。

波尔布特的红色高棉政权没有杀死潘先生 。而胰腺癌，从诊断算起仅仅用了3个月。

2008年3月29日：感觉好多了

I'm definitely having more energy; spending less time in bed each day, and feeling more "human" overall. My doctor says I'm strong enough for us to start moving on tests and my next steps in treatment, probably in the next 2 weeks. Good thing, too: my CA19-9 blood marker, which in my case is strongly correlated with tumor activity, has been slowly rising:

recent CA19-9 numbers:
2/29: 94
3/14: 103
3/21: 170
3/27: 216

If my tumors were a stock, they'd have a "buy" rating ;-)

我的精力绝对是强多了;卧床时间少上，整体来说觉的更像"活人"了。我的医生说我身体强到可以开始下一个步的检查和治疗，可能就在下未来2周。好事一件，因为与我的肿瘤活性密切相关的消化道癌相关抗原CA19 - 9，已渐渐升高：
最近的CA19 - 9结果：
2 / 29 ： 94
3 / 14 ： 103
3 / 21 ： 170
3 / 27 ： 216
如果我的肿瘤是股票的话，他们的评级一定是"买进";-)

2008年3月26日：进展缓慢，但消息令人鼓舞

The last few weeks have been tough; I've been in bed most of each day, having to ration my energy, which is very unnatural for me. Total exhaustion is very frustrating. However, I am starting to, very slowly, gain more energy each day.

Tuesday's trip to the cardiologist yielded great news: my echocardiogram showed that my heart function is definitely returning: my "ejection fraction" (measure of blood ejection by the heart) was at its low point 25%; it's now up to at least 45%, and "normal" is 55 to 70 percent. Also, my cardiologist says a lot of the fatigue may be caused by one of my blood pressure medications (coreg), and next week they will probably swap that out for another drug, now that I'm doing better.

On the kidney front, my nephrologist is extermely encouraged - for those of you scoring the game at home, my creatanine level (peaked at 3.9) is now down to 3.1, and he says that's a very stong indicator my kidney function is going to return.

The only bad news is that the tumors have apparently decided they've been chivalrous enough; my CA19-9 went up from 103 to 170; while not definitive, it's a strong indicator that they are on the move. So I need to hurry up and get healthy enough for our next round of treatment.

过去数周不容易，我每天大部分时间都卧床休息以节省体力，对我来说可真别扭。彻底的筋疲力竭真让人沮丧。不过，我慢慢的已经开始一天天好起来。
 

周二去看了心脏科医生得到大好消息：超声心动图表明我的心功能肯定在恢复：我的"射血分数" （测量心输出血量）最低是为25 ％ ，现在升到至少45 ％ ， "正常"的是55％到70 ％ 。另外，我的心脏科医生说，很多疲劳可能是由于我用的一种降血压药（卡维地洛 ）引起的 ，现在我情况好转，下周他们可能会换成另一种药物。

在肾脏方面，我的肾科专家感到非常乐观-为那些爱记分的人，在家里，我的肌酸酐水平（最高为3 .9）现在下降到3 .1，他说，这是我的肾功能会恢复的一个非常有力的指标。

唯一的坏消息是，看起来肿瘤已觉得它们已经侠义够了;我的消化道癌相关抗原CA19 - 9从103上升至170 ，虽然不是绝定的，但这是一个肿瘤在发展的强力指标。所以，我要抓紧时间，并让健康状况恢复到足以开始下一轮的治疗。

2008年3月25日：时间管理讲座赢得关注

People who know me know that the talk that I'm actually most proud of is the talk I've given over the years on "Time Management."

With great thanks to Gabe Robins, I'm thrilled to report that if you type "time management" into Google, the video of that talk is now the 6th result! (By the way, I've made that video available under a creative commons license, so anybody can show it for free, so long as they give attribution).

熟悉我的人知道我实际上最感到骄傲的讲座是我历年来的"时间管理" 讲座。

多亏了盖碧.罗宾斯，我可以非常激动地向大家报告，如果你在谷歌键入"时间管理" ，第六个结果就是这个讲座的视频！ （顺便提一下，我把这个视频的版权归于创作共用许可，所以，任何人都可免费播放，只要注明出处即可）。

2008年3月19日：恢复很慢

Well, except for the day to go to Congress, I've now been resting at home for more than a week. Spending almost all day in bed is hardly my normal state, but the exhaustion is very real.

I've learned a lot about diuretics: drugs that force water out of the body. Part of why my organs (heart/kidney) failed is that fluid built up in my body. With aggressive diuretics, we've forced 20 pounds out of my body in the last 12 days. Wow. I feel like a crushed grape!

The doctors are very optomistic my heart will return to something like 80-90% of its original capacity (which is fine; I went into this with great heart function). The biggest question is whether my kidneys will recover and start working on their own. We just stopped the diuretics, to see if my kidneys will "kick in" on their own. It will take probably 2 weeks to know for sure. For those of you scoring the game at home, my creatanine level peaked at 3.9, but is down to 3.4 - my nephrologist (who is awesome), says that is a very encouraging sign.

So I rest, and I rest, and I rest. The really good news is that - at least based on blood markers - the tumors are being very chivalrous and not taking advantage of this opportunity to run wild, before I'm strong enough to fight back. My CA19-9 was 103 last Friday, which is only up a tiny bit from my last round of chemo.

嗯，除了到国会的那天外，我已经在家休息了一个多星期。几乎整天卧床可不是我的常态，但确实感到筋疲力尽。

我学到了很多关于利尿剂的知识。导致我器官（心/肾）衰竭的部分原因是体液滁留。在过去12天里，我们已经用强力利尿剂从我体内挤出20磅水。哇，我觉得自己像个被压碎的葡萄！

医生们很乐观对的认为我的心功能将恢复到原来的80-90 ％ （挺好;我心功能原来非常好） 。最大的问题是我的肾功能能否恢复如常。我们刚停了利尿剂，看看我的肾会不会自己"启动"。大概要2周时间才可以确定知道。对你们那些爱在家里记录分析的人，我肌酸酐水平最高达到3.9 ，现降到3.4 -我的肾病医生（他很棒）说这是一个非常令人鼓舞的迹象。

所以，我休息，休息，再休息。好消息是-至少从血液标志物来看-肿瘤还很侠义，并没有乘我未康复的机会横行。我上周五的消化道癌相关抗原CA19 - 9是103，只比我最后一轮化疗后高一点点。

2008年3月13日 ：出医院,上国会... ...

I was discharged from the hospital on Monday afternoon. Great thanks to my personal angel, MR Kelsey, who came down from Pittsburgh to be with me. MR, you are awesome.

I'm feeling MUCH better since the tap (they pulled out 1.4 liters of fluid from my right lung). There's a similar amount of fluid in my left lung, but we'll try to suck that out with duiretics, rather than do another tap, which has small, but real, risks.

After consulting with my doctors, I got permission to travel today to Washington, DC, to testify before congress about the need for more funding for pancreatic cancer research. I think it went pretty well; the staffers tell me that when the congresspeople put down their blackberries and listen, it's a very good sign, and that certainly happened.

Oh, and in the "never a dull moment" category, we had a pretty serious car accident on the drive up, but everybody was okay. How ironic it would have been to go that way!

Great thanks to Julie Fleshman and everybody else at PanCAN (www.pancan.org) who did all the work to make my testimony possible. Great thanks also to Jack Sheriff, my long-term best friend, who was able to come and provide support; I'm still a little wobbly from the heart/kidney issues, but with everybody's help, I got through it, and I'm hoping to continue to heal up over the next few weeks.

我周一下午出院。衷心感谢我的个人天使， 凯尔西，从匹兹堡来陪我。先生，你真了不起。

我自穿剌抽液后感觉好得多了（从我的右肺部抽出1.4升液体）。左肺也有类似的积液量，不过我们会尝试用利尿剂来排除，而不再做一次抽液，穿剌抽液风险虽小，但还是有的。

我得到医生的许可，今天到华盛顿在到国会作需要有更多的资金用于胰腺癌研究的证词。我觉得听证会开的不错; 工作人员告诉我，当议员们放下黑莓手机倾听，这是一个非常好的兆头，而议员们确实这么做了。

哦，算是"无巧不成书"，我们在去的路上发生了一起相当严重的车祸，好在无人受伤。要不然就太有讽刺意味了！

非常感谢朱莉•弗莱西曼和胰腺癌行动网（ www.pancan.org ）的同仁所做的一切，从而使我能够提供证词。也非常感谢我长久以来的挚友杰克•沙利夫能赶来提供支持; 我由于心/肾的问题, 还是有点虚弱不稳，不过在大家的帮助下，我已度过难关，希望在未来几周内能继续康复。

2008年3月8日 ：住院

On Thursday Jai & I met with nephrologist (kidney doctor) Thomas Whelan, who is terrific. Based on lab work and my symptoms, he recommended that we use a combination of diuretics and a "tap" to get rid of the fluid around my lugs. Both for reasons of speed and safety, he recommended I get admitted to the hospital and do this in-patient, so I went into the hospital Thursday night.

Although we're still sleuthing down exactly what caused it, we believe that the chemo drugs ended up putting a huge strain on both my heart and kidneys. That led to the buildup of fluid around my lungs. Friday morning they did the "tap": - inserting a needle in my back, between my ribs, and piercing the outer lung sac, but not the lung itself. They then siphoned off more than a quart of fluid, which lab tests showed was unremarkable. Within an hour, my breathing was feeling normal (instead of the labored, shallow breathing I'd been doing). Most importantly, I could lay flat and really sleep for the first time in 2 weeks. It felt incredibly good.

My left lung also has about a quart of fluid, but we'll get that out with diuretics rather than do another needle stick. It's a pretty safe procedure, but if it can be avoided, they prefer less invasive approaches.

They are tweaking the high blood pressure medicines and the diuretics, in order to find a good combination. The doctors are fairly confident there isn't any long-term damage to my heart. That's less clear with my kidneys, but I can live okay with them in their current state. The big problem was when both the heart and kidneys were getting hammered, which let to the fluid build-up.

I'll probably leave the hospital tomorrow (Sunday), or Monday. It will take about a week to get me really robust again, but I already feel SO much better now that they've tapped the fluid. The fluid tap, by the way, works almost identically to a beer keg, in terms of the physics!

The short term crisis is under control. The longer term strategy of how to continue treatment of the cancer, given my new constraints, is something I'll have to figure out this week.

星期四我和洁见了肾科专家托马斯•未兰。根据化验结果和我的病情，他主张联合应用利尿剂和穿剌抽液来排除肺周积水。基于时效和安全的原因，他建议我住院治疗，所以我星期四晚上住进了医院。

尽管细节仍然待查, 我们相信是化疗药物给我的心脏和肾脏带来了巨大负荷, 导致我肺周积水。周五早上做了"穿剌"-在我的背部肋骨间插入一根针，穿透外肺囊, 但不是肺本身。他们抽出了1升多的积液，化验并无异常。不到一小时，我的呼吸就感觉正常了（而不是之前费力的浅呼吸）。最重要的是，这是我两周以来第一次能躺平好好睡觉。感觉棒急了。

我的左肺也有约1升的积液，但将用利尿剂来排除，而不是再做一次穿剌。穿剌本身很安全，但如果能避免，医生们倾向于采用无创的疗法。

医生们正在调整高血压药物和利尿剂的配伍组合。他们相信我的心脏没有受到持久损伤。肾脏的情况不那么明朗，但目前的状况仍可维持生活。原先的大麻烦是心肾功能同时受损而导致积水。

我很可能在明天（周日）出院，也可能是周一。可能需要一个星期才能使我真正康复，但自从医生们排出了积水后我已经感觉好多了。顺便说一句，从物理的角度来说，抽液和啤酒桶的工作原理差不多!

短期危机已得到控制。我这周要解决的问题是如何在新的病情制约下, 制订出长程的癌症治疗方案。

2008年3月5日：    好消息和坏消息

The good news is that the tumors appear to still be basically held in check.

The bad news is that the side effects of the chemo drugs have become too toxic.  My kidneys are now performing at well under 50% efficiency (Creatanine is 3.4, and BUN is 54, for those of you scoring the game at home). My blood pressure has soared up to 200 over 100. . I may technically have "high output congestive heart failure," but that's not nearly as bad as it sounds.

The painful part is that we think my abdominal cavity has started to fill with fluid, a side effect of the kidney inefficiency and high blood pressure. .  That particularly stinks because the fluid pushes on lungs and heart.   I can't sleep (or breathe clearly) while lying down; I have to sit up and try to sleep that way. And I get totally out of breath after a flight of stairs.

So we're doing a bunch of things to address these issues:
- we're stopping all chemo
- I'm now on high blood pressure medication
- I'm taking a diuretic that is supposed to get my body to empty itself of fluids, so that my body (in theory) starts to absorp back the fluid in my cavity and start to urinate it out over time.
- I'm seeing a nephrologist (kidney specialist) tomorrow.
- Yesterday I got a blood transfusion, which greatly helped my low red blood cell count and is giving me more energy.

This is a setback, but hopefully a small one. However, if the damage the chemo drugs did to my kidneys is permanant, that would be really, really bad.

More news as it develops. 

好消息是，肿瘤似乎基本上没有进展。

坏消息是，化疗药的毒副作用已变太强。我的肾功能已降至50 ％以下（肌酸酐3.4，血尿素氮54，对你们那些爱记录分析的人） 。我的血压已窜至200/100。从医学定义上可以说我有"高输出量性心力衰竭， 但这并不象听起来那么可怕。

糟糕的是，肾功能不全和高血压已导致我的腹腔开始积液,而积液压迫心肺。我不能躺下睡觉（或轻松呼吸），我只能尽量坐起来睡。而上一层楼梯就让我喘不过气来。

所以我们做了一些事情来解决这些问题：

-停止所有化疗

-用抗高血压药

-用利尿剂来帮助我的身体排出积液，使我的身体（理论上应该）开始吸收回在腹腔的积液并逐渐由小便排出。

-我明天要去看肾脏专科医生。

-昨天，我输了次血，这非常有助于我的低红细胞数，并给了我更多的能量。

这是一个挫折，但希望是个小挫折。不过，如果化疗药物造成的肾损害是永久性的，那就非常，非常不妙了。

随形势发展,会有更多新闻。

[译注]

肌酸酐正常值.：小于1.2 mg/ dl，血尿素氮正常值：10~20 mg/dl，正常情况下大部份人之血尿素氮/肌酸酐 之比值应在12 ~16 之间，但少部份人会在12 ~ 20 之间。

2008年3月1日：中位数不说明问题

Stephen Jay Gould wrote a brilliant essay I think most cancer patients would benefit from. It's only a few pages, and it's here.

斯蒂芬・杰伊・古尔德写了一篇精采文章, 我想多数癌症患者都能从中受益。 就几页，在这里。

2008年2月15日：六个月后．．．仍然健在

Today is a pretty important day. It was August 15th, 2007, when I was told I likely had "three to six months of good health left."

Today is six months from that day. Just to prove I'm still alive, here I am, holding today's New York Times!

I rode my bike today; the cumulative effects of the chemotherapy are hurting my stamina some, but I bet I can still run a quarter mile faster than most Americans.

The doctors weren't wrong; they always said that if the palliative chemo worked, I'd buy more time, but that it was a long shot. And the doctors have done a brilliant job of tweaking my regimen to help my odds. How much longer this will work is hard to know, but I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left, no matter how many or how few of them I get.

今天对我是个挺重要日子。在2007年8月15日，我被告知还能有3到6个月的健康身体。今天满6个月了，我手持的是今天的纽约时报，证明我还活着!

我今天又骑车锻炼了;不断的化疗让我体力有所衰减，但我相信我跑400米还比大多数美国人都快。

医生们并没有错，他们总是说，姑息化疗是希望不大，但如果有效，能延长生存期。而且他们也为提高疗效而为我精心设计治疗方案 。很难说还会有效多久，但不管时间长短，我会开心度过余下的每一天。

2008年Feb 11: 屋中的大象

At "The Last Lecture," I brought out a bunch of stuffed animals and said anyone in the audience who wanted one should grab one after the talk.

I don't know where the others ended up, but a very brave Carnegie Mellon senior named Robin Luo grabbed the stuffed elephant; she sent me this photo recently.

Robin has been battling cancer herself; and during my tough times in Houston, we exchanged frequent emails. She's doing great, and has become quite the advocate, as well: check out the relay for life to see how you can help.

It is somehow quite fitting that a compatriate with cancer got "the elephant in the room."

在"最后的讲座"中, 我带了一堆毛绒动物，并说，任何想要的听众在讲座后都可以来拿。

我不知道其它毛绒动物的命运，但一个非常勇敢的卡内基梅隆毕业班学生罗滨 (音译)拿了大象，这是她最近寄给我的照片。

罗滨自己也在同癌症抗争; 我在休斯敦的艰难时期，我们经常互通电子邮件。她近况很好，并已成为抗癌事业的急先锋. 想知道如何提供帮助的话, 请访问当地的美国癌症协会为生命接力活动的网站。

癌症同路人得到了"屋中的大象", 真是无巧不成书。

< 译注 ："屋中的大象"这个成语是指有一件事大家不可能视而不见，但又不愿谈及>

2008年2月9日:  肿瘤开始成长，但我们奋力抗击

My CT scan in the first week of January showed the beginning of "creeping growth" of the tumors in my liver. This indicated that my palliative chemo had begun to fail. A huge bummer.

Our counter-measure was to add the drug Avastin (making my regimen Gemcitabine+Tarceva+Avastin). this was a long shot, but since Avastin doesn't have bad side effects, we figured we'd try that first.

And it worked!

My Febrruary 5 scans showed no growth (and maybe even a little shrinkage) in the precedeing month. I and my docs were all giddy that the long shot worked.

The obvious questiion: how long will it work? Nobody knows, but I'll ride it until it stops working; with luck I can buy another few months. Meanwhile, I've identified the "next steps" I'll take after that, all of which are more toxic in terms of side effects. So I'm ready and loaded for bear when the time comes.

The only downsides are

1) my kidney function seem to be weakening; not dangerous yet, but moving in a bad direction. It's possible the Avastin is the culprit, but it may be a combination of Avastin, gemcitabine, and the IV contrast in all the monthly CT scans (most people are only scanned every two months). So we'll be watching my kidneys carefully.

2) My last chmeo produced a 3 day fever, spiking at 103, plus some nausea.

These are small prices to pay ... any day you have tumors in your liver and they don't get bigger is a good day!

我在一月第一周的电脑断层扫描显示在我肝脏的肿瘤开始"逐渐增长"。这表明我的姑息化疗已开始失灵。真是晦气 。

我们的对策是加药:阿瓦斯汀（我的化疗方案变成: 剑泽+爱罗替尼+阿瓦斯汀）。这是一个赌博，但由于阿瓦斯汀没有不良副作用，我们想先试这个。

有效!

我二月五日的扫描显示肿瘤上个月没有增长（也许还有一点点收缩）。我和我的医生均很高兴我们押对宝了。

显而易见的问题是: 会有效多久？没人知道，但是，我会用到失效为止;如果幸运的话我能再捡几个月。同时，我也确定了"后续"药物，所有那些的毒副作用都更强。所以，我已做好了打硬仗的充分准备。

坏消息是

1) 我的肾功能在减退，还不危险，但正朝坏的方向发展&;;#12290;阿瓦斯汀可能是罪魁祸首，但也可能是阿瓦斯丁，剑泽，和每月静脉显影电脑断层扫描的组合作用（大多数病人每两个月才扫描一次） 。所以我们会小心监测肾功能。

2) 上次化疗让我发了三天烧, 最高到华氏103度(摄氏39.4度), 还反胃恶心。

这些都算不了什么... ...任何一个在你肝脏里的肿瘤没有长大的日子都是个好日子！

胰癌行动网宣传日

March 10th and 11th, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network will be having advocacy days in Washington, DC.

I plan to be there. Perhaps I can lead a cheer or two at the rally.... how about:

two...four...six...eight .... with pancreatic cancer you emaciate!

三月10日和11日， 胰腺癌行动网将在首府华盛顿举行宣传日活动。

我打算亲临现场。或许还能带头喊几句口号... 这个如何：胰腺折磨, 形消骨立！

2008年2月1日 ： 我感觉如何？

This is the question I'm most commonly asked.. The short version is: the tumors are still to small to be felt, or to have any effect on my health.

So what I'm feeling is due to the chemotherapy. Some days I'm tired, and some days I have flu-like symptoms (chills, muscle and joint aches). And my GI tract is still somewhat of a mess; I eat 4,000 calories a day, just to maintain weight. I occasionally have mild nausea, but it's rare and really mild.

In the last month, the new side effect is neuropathy: numbness in the fingers and toes. It's been getting worse; I can still touch-type, but I make tons more mistakes. And it's getting hard to find things in my pockets, since I'm losing the sense of touch; I can mostly just feel pressure.

All in all, a small price to pay for walking around!

这是人们最常问的问题。简而言之：肿瘤还很小, 感觉不到，对我的健康也没影响。
所以我感觉如何取决化疗反应。有些日子我感到疲惫，有些日子我会有类似流感症状（打寒颤、肌肉关节酸痛）。我的消化系统还挺糟糕；为了维持体重我每天吃4000卡路里的食物。我有时有轻度恶心，但很少有而且实在很轻。

上个月中新出现的的副作用是神经系统病变：手指和脚趾麻木。副作用正在加重；我仍能够盲打, 但错误率要大大升高。由于触觉丧失，主要靠感觉压力, 在口袋里找东西也变难了。

总而言之，为活着而付的小小代价！

2008年1月28日 ：奥兰多之旅 ！！

Jai & I just took a long weekend in Orlando with Dylan and Logan (Chloe's really too young, so she stayed here with Jai's relatives).

Highlights of the trip:

- Logan asking to see "Shampoo, the Killer Whale"

- Logan jumping a baracade and sprinting into a parade, and being "taken down" by two security guards while Jai madly gave chase.

- Meeting Mickey.

- Winning stuffed animals. I bagged a snake, and Dylan and Logan won their first "all by myself" animals! (Turns out they're naturals at the squirt guns).

- Riding in the nose cone of the monorail; the driver even gave Dylan and Logan co-pilot's licenses!

洁和我刚刚带着迪伦和娄更在奥兰多市度过了一个长周末。（克娄依还太小，所以她留下和洁的亲戚们在一起）
 

此行亮点:
- 娄更叫着要去看“虎鲸香波” (香穆是奥兰多海洋世界著名的虎鲸表演, 娄更发音不准, 译者注)
 

- 娄更跳过路障冲向游行队伍，洁随后猛追, 最后还是两名保安把他“拿下”。
 

- 见到了米老鼠。
 

- 赢取填充动物玩偶。我得到了一条蛇，迪伦和娄更第一次“全靠自己”赢得了玩具动物（他们玩水枪很有天份）。
 

- 坐入单轨列车的驾驶舱, 司机还发给迪伦和娄更副驾驶的执照。

2008年1月23日 游说国会

The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network launched a major initiative called Raise the Cure, attempting to get Congress to allocate more research funding for pancreatic cancer.

I spent the day on the hill, meeting with senators and members of the house ("Hi, I'm Randy, and I'll be your 'Michael J. Fox' for the day...")

Here we are with Steny H. Hoyer , the House majority leader. Next to me is PanCAN’s Megan Gordon Don, director of government affairs, and farthest from me is Julie Fleshman, PanCAN's president and CEO.

胰腺癌行动网发起了一项名为”集资抗癌”的大型倡议活动，试图向国会争取更多的胰腺癌研究经费。
 

我一整天都在国会山会见参,众议员们（“嗨，我是兰迪, 我今天要做对抗胰腺癌的迈可尔.福克斯” (加拿大演员, 帕金森氏病患者, 致力于推动对该病的研究, 译者注) 。
 

这是我们和议会多数党领袖斯戴尼•霍伊尔的合影。站在我身旁的是胰腺癌行动网政府事务处主任梅根•戈登•唐，站在离我最远处的是胰腺癌行动网的总裁兼首席执行官朱莉•弗莱西曼。

2008年1月15日 大作完成 ！

Kudos to Jeff Zaslow, the world's fastest writer. I am proud to say that the book "The Last Lecture" is now done!

I'm even prouder to say that we accomplished this with the major constraint that it take little or no time away from family (see "How to Write a Book on an Bike," below).

Jeff and I are very proud of how it has turned out. It's 61 chapters in 206 pages. There are 18 photographs, 1 bar chart, and (for all my mathematical friends), one equation.

I am particularly proud that I negotiated to get the words "Carnegie Mellon" on the front cover! (click on image to see it larger).

Hyperion is publishing the book in early April; details at www.TheLastLecture.com

我自豪地宣布《最后的演讲》一书现在大功告成了！荣誉归于杰夫.莱斯娄--世界上写书最快的作家。

更让我骄傲的是，完成该书没有影响我和家人共享天伦之乐（见2007年12月10日“自行车上著书”）。
 

杰夫和我对该书非常满意。全书分61章共206页，18张照片, 一张条形图, 还有（为我那些喜欢数学的朋友）一个等式。

尤令我自豪的是，我通过协商得以将卡内基梅隆的校名置于封面！（点击图片放大）

本书将由海波出版社于今年四月上旬发行。详见：www.TheLastLecture.com

李开复发来中国学生的问候

fromchinatorandy

Kau-Fu Lee sent me the following; if you download and run this .exe, it's a sweet animation from a bunch of chinese students thanking me for the lecture.

It's a small world, after all.

李开复给我发来如下文字：如果你下载并运行该可执行文件，你会看到来自一群中国学生感谢你所做的"最后的讲座"的甜美动画。

说到底,小小环球。

吉姆.法瓦诺于1993年ESPY体育奖颁奖典礼上的演讲

Several people were kind enough to point me to this very inspirational piece by Jim Valvano, who - like me - did it knowing he was a terminal cancer patient. I personally love the moment where they try to tell him he only has 30 seconds left! Click here to view the video.

有几位好心人把吉姆.法瓦诺这段非常催人奋进的视频推荐给我。他和我一样，在发表演讲时知道自己是个癌症晚期病人。我个人最喜欢他被告知还剩30秒时所做的反应！点击这里观看:

译注
[1] ESPY(年度体育卓越表现奖), 如体育界的奥斯卡奖，始自1993年。

[2] 吉姆.法瓦诺, 美国著名大学篮球队教练和体育评论员, 创立促进癌症研究的V基金。1993年接受首届ESPY勇气奖时发表此演说, 55天后死于转移性腺癌, 享年47岁。

[3]经典摘译: “人们知道我患癌症后总问我每天是怎么过的, 其实还是一如既往… … 对我来说, 我们每天都应做三件事，第一是欢笑, 无日或缺. 第二是思考, 不思则罔. 第三是感动落泪, 勿论悲喜. 想想看, 如果一天里你笑过,想过,哭过, 那一日就不虚度. 若能持之以恒, 生命就别有洞天”。

迪伦满6岁

For most people, Dec 31 is New Year's Eve. In our family, it's Dylan's birthday. Today was a great one; Dylan spent the morning at the aquarium seeing all sorts of animals, then spent the afternoon with Daddy and his cousin Hannah, watching a movie. Then, we all got together at Red Robin for dinner, including balloons.

Dylan & I went to one of those photobooths where they take your picture and then process it to look like a human did it in pastels. The best part is there's a video where they make it look like a human is really drawing it - every so often, he says "oops!" and erases a part and redoes it - Dylan thought that was hysterical! Here's the final product

对大多数人来说， 12月31日是新年除夕。在我们家，它是迪伦的生日。今天是很棒的一天。迪伦上午在水族馆看各种各样的动物，然后下午同爸爸和他的堂姐汉娜一起看电影。然后我们去“红罗宾”用晚餐，当然少不了气球。
迪伦和我去了一个照相亭，在那里他们把照的相片处理的像蜡笔画一样。最有趣的是在处理过程的同时会放一段录影，看起来像是真的有一个人在绘画，时不时的，　他会说：＂糟糕！＂，擦掉一部分重新画．迪伦被认这好玩极了！这是完成的作品．

12月25日：波许家的圣诞

Christmas is a wonderful holiday. It's even more wonderful when you weren't sure you would be around for it.

圣诞节是个美妙的节日。想想当初你连今天是否还能活着都拿不准，这个圣诞节就变得更妙不可言了。

12月23日：姑息化疗能维持多久？

A natural question is "how long will the palliative chemo (gemcitabine+tarceva) continue to work, holding my tumors basically stable in size?" There is some data on the roughly 10-15% of metastatic pancreatic cancer patients where gemcitabine works for them.

I talked with my oncologists, and read some journal articles. There's no single answer (it's obviously a bell shaped curve), but the best guess, based on available data, is that my tumors will "hold" for another 2-4 months from today.

That's really cool. Jai and I call this "bonus time."

In terms of medical treatment, the general concensus seems to be "keep doing what's working." Once it stops working, there are a number of things to try, but they're all even longer shots than the thing we tried first, which only works for 10-15% of patients.

一个自然的问题是： "姑息化疗(剑泽合并爱罗替尼）能使肿瘤基本稳定多久？从对剑泽有效的10-15 ％转移胰腺癌患者中已收集了一些研究数据,。

我跟我的肿瘤科医生谈过, 也看了一些学术文章。没有一个标准答案（显然是一个统计学的钟形曲线）, 但根据现有数据的最好的估计，是我的肿瘤还能被再控制2-4个月。

这真酷。洁和我把这叫做"捡来的时间" 。

讲到治疗，一般的共识似乎是"有效就继续" 。当现方案不管用了, 还有些其它疗法可试, 但它们比现在10-15 ％的有效率还要低。

12月10日：自行车上著书

Jai wanted me to write a book, but that begged the question of how to do that without taking time from being with the family. The solution? Jeff Zaslow is actually doing the heavy lifting of creating the prose (and dang, is he a good writer), but the deal is that he and I talk one hour each day, while I'm exercising on my bike.

That way, I can get all my stories and anecdotes to a real writer (I stink at writing, anyway), without taking any time from family.

洁想要我写一本书，但这带来的问题是如何不缩减于家人在一起的时间。解决方案？杰夫.莱斯娄是实际写作的主力(嘿, 他是个好作家）, 计划是我们在我骑自行车锻炼是谈一小时。

这样，我可以把我所有的故事和轶事告诉一个真正的作家（我本来写作就不行），而不占用家人的时间。

12月7日  姑息化疗仍有效

The palliative chemotherapy (gemcitabine + tarceva) is still working. My december 7th CT scan was basically a photocopy of my Nov 8th scan; the tumors have not grown at all. My CA19-9 (for those of you "scoring the game at home" dropped from 208 on Aug 14th to 59 on Nov 2, and then 64 on Nov 26th. This is all really good news.

My local oncologist, Dr. Michael Lee (who is spectacular, and is himself a cancer survivor), tells me that my response, on a scale of 1-to-10, is a 10.

I need to be clear: this is not a cure, and it won't work for long. "Winning" right now means buys extra months, not years. But I'm thrilled to have this "bonus time"!!! And I will be in good health for Christmas.

I will probably be adding Avastin to my cocktail soon.. It's been a wonder drug for lots of metastatic cancers, but the large trials don't really indicate it makes much of a difference for pancreatic. However, several doctors have anecdotal stories of a single "fluke" patient who lives 12 or 18 months on it, so I'm inclined to try to be that fluke patient.

I suffer small side effects from the chemo: I have 1-2 days/week (surprisingly, it starts about 48 hours after the IV) where I feel mild nausea and some substantial fatigue. We switched my "chemo day" from Fridays to Mondays so that my weakest day occurs during the week, when we have Rachael to help Jai out with the kids. Sometimes, I can't feel my fingers or toes, and I've had some infrequent, but very painful intestinal cramping, but all-in-all, "a very small price to pay for walkin' around," as we in the cancer business say. My red blood cell counts are a little down, but I can ride a bike an hour each day, and I can fully play with the kids and enjoy my life.

Meanwhile, I'm frantically examining "plan B" treatments when the gemcitabine+tarceva stops working. Frankly, there aren't any silver bullets out there, but I'll give it my best shot. Leading candidates are some vaccine trials about to open up at Johns Hopkins, and TGEN (www.tgen.org), which does some customized therapies. I have about 30 other things I'm investigating, but those are the current leaders.

姑息化疗（剑泽合并爱罗替尼）仍有效。我12月7号的CT扫描结果基本上是11月8号的翻版；肿瘤一点没长。我的消化道癌相关抗原CA19-9（对你们那些爱记录分析的人）从 8月14号的208降到11月2号的59， 再到11月26号的64。这真是好消息。

我当地的肿瘤科医生，麦克尔.李博士（他棒极了, 而他本人还是位癌症幸存者）对我说, 我对化疗的反应，用10分制来评分的话，可以打满分。

我要明白说：这不是治愈，有效是暂时的。 "赢" 是说一次几个月,而不是几年, 的争取时间。但我仍然为这"捡来的时间"而激动 ！！！我也能健康地过圣诞。

我可能将阿瓦斯汀加入我的鸡尾酒疗法中。它对很多转移的癌症的都效果显著，但大的临床试验并未见它对胰腺癌有效。不过，有些医生知道一个 “幸运”患者依靠这种药物活了12或18个月，所以我要去做那个“幸运”患者。

化疗有些难过的副作用：每 周有1到2天（令人惊讶的是，总是在静脉给药后48小时）会感到轻度恶心, 有时非常疲劳。我们把化疗日从周五调到了周一， 这样我每周最虚弱的日子会在工作日，有瑞切儿过来帮洁带孩子。有些时候，我的手指或脚趾会失去 感觉，时不时地会有很痛苦的肠绞痛，但总的来说，就像我们患癌的人常说的那样“为活着而付的小小代价”。我的血红细胞数略有所降, 但是我能每天能骑一小时自行车, 与孩子们一起嘻戏, 享受生活. 

同 时, 我也在疯狂寻找剑泽合并爱罗替尼失败后的替代治疗方案。坦率地说, 没有特效药, 但我还是要尽力而为.主要的候选方案是即将开展的约翰霍普金斯和翻译基因组学研究院的疫苗临床试验, 进行个性化医疗. 我有大概30件在考虑的疗法,  但目前这些是首选。

12月1日 帶水中呼吸器潜泳

I'm definitely in the running for "healthiest dying man in America." This photo was taken at 105 feet off the Cayman islands on Dec 1st.

When I asked my oncologist if I could go scuba diving, he thought for a while and said, "Medically, I can't think of any reason you can't .... but I have to admit, it's not a question that comes up very often for metastatic pancreatic cancer patients!"

Kudos to my dive buddies, Steve, Jack, and Scott, who kept very careful watch over me in the water.

毫无疑问我正在竞选“美国最健康的垂死男子”。这张照片是12月1日在离开曼群岛105英尺的地方拍的。

当我问我的肿瘤科医生我是否可以去水肺潜水时，他想了一想说， “从医学上说，没有不能去的理由…不过我得说，这可不是胰癌转移患者常问的问题！”

感谢我的潜伴，史蒂夫，杰克，和斯科特在水中的细心照看。

星际迷航!!!

This is, by far, the coolest thing (okay, #2 behind the palliative chemo working). JJ Abrams (Hollywood producer/director who did the TV series "Lost," the movie "Mission Impossible III" and a bunch of other stuff) emailed me, out of the blue:

JJ Abrams wrote:
> Dear Randy --
>
> Hi there -- I'm JJ Abrams, director of the new Star Trek movie.
>
> I read about you and your condition, and ALSO your affinity for things
> Trek.
>
> So, I just wanted to put the invitation out there -- that if you had
> any desire to be in the film (can't promise you role as CAPTAIN,
> but... we could do SOMETHING!), it would be my honor and pleasure.
>
> The last thing I want to do is intrude, so feel free not to reply --
> but I wanted to make sure you knew that, if you are willing and able,
> the door is wide open.
>
> I hope that your treatments are going well and that we get to meet one
> day.
>
> Best,
>
> JJ

Naturally, I presumed this was one of my friends, playing a prank. But after a little sleuthing, it was clear it was for real. Jai & I hopped a plane to LA, where I got a custom-made Star Trek uniform and my own station on the bridge, where I had lots of buttons and controls. I even got a LINE!!!!

In addition to publicly thanking JJ Abrams, I just wanted to say what an incredibly egoless and cool guy he was. We chatted a little bit between takes, and he is so tech-savvy (and I'm not saying that *just* because he knew all about Alice!). Anyway, it was a truly magical experience. Speaking of Magic, I got to fulfill a long-standing wish of taking Jai to the Magic Castle on that trip, courtesy of Peter Farquar. MK Haley, who is herself quite magical, joined Peter and his wife and Jai & me for an incredible evening.

the "Star Trek" movie will be in theaters December 2008. Don't blink or you'll miss me, but at some point a guy walked across the bridge and says "Captain, we have visual!"

I'd *love* to show you my costume (which they let me keep), but I promised JJ Abrams "no photos". They're trying to keep things a secret; in fact, even on the Paramount lot, you have to walk around in a trenchcoat if you're in a Star Trek costume. It's kind of like being at a flasher's convention!

Oh, and if you think I'm making this up, here's a copy of my check from Paramount (they had to pay me due to some union rules or some such... I'll obviously be donating this to charity).

这是到目前为止，最酷的事（好吧，排在有效化疗其次） 。JJ艾布拉姆斯&;;;#65288;好莱坞制片人/导演, 制作过电视连续剧"迷失" ,电影"不可能的任务3 " ，以及一大堆其它他作品）给我发了封意想不到的邮件.

JJ艾布拉姆斯写道：

亲爱的Randy

你好

我是JJ艾布拉姆斯，新电影《星际迷航》的导演。

我得知你的情况，还有你对《星际迷航》的迷恋。

所以，我想邀请你参加《星际迷航》的拍摄。如果你希望在电影里演出的话, 我将不胜荣幸（不能保证你演船长，但…我们能给你个角色！）。

我不愿打扰你的生活, 所以你也不必回信。但我想确定让你知道，如果你愿意又能够的话，大门是敞开的。

希望你的治疗进行顺利，我们有一天可以见面。

祝好

JJ

我先猜想这是我朋友的恶作剧玩笑。可是作了些调查后，发现这是货真价实。当时我和洁搭上一架飞机直奔洛杉矶，在那里我得到了一套定制的星际迷航的制服和在舰桥上有很多的按钮和和控制系统的工作站。我甚至还得到了一句台词！

在此除了要公开感谢JJ艾布拉姆斯之外，我还想说他是一个很酷，很无私的一个人。，我们在拍摄间歇聊了一点。而且他是如此精通技术（我这样说不*仅*是因为他知道关于爱丽丝计划的一切！）。不管怎样，这真是一次神奇之旅。说到神奇，感谢皮特法阔, 在这次旅行中，我终于实现了一个长期的愿望, 带洁去一起去好莱坞的魔术城堡。神奇的MK哈丽, 皮特及他的妻子，还有我和洁一同度过了一个不可思议的晚上。

《星际迷航》将于2008年12月份上映。目不转睛的看, 要不就会错过我。电影某处会有一人走过舰桥，说：船长，我们有视像了！

我很乐意给你们看我的戏服（他们让我保留了），但我向JJ艾布拉姆斯保证过"没有照片"。他们试图对此保密。实际上，就是在派拉蒙的拍摄场地，如果你穿着戏服，都必须套上大衣走动。有点像在一个露阴癖大会！

 如果你觉得我是瞎编，这是一张派拉蒙给我的支票的复印件（因为一些工会法规或类似的原因，他们必须付我钱，当然，我会把它捐给慈善组织）。

11月29日：安顿我们的新生活

As you all know, we moved to Virginia immediately upon my terminal diagnosis; the goal being to have our family settled as sson as possible. That strategy has been really validated. Life here is logistically much easier (warmer weather, living on a a cul-de-sac in suburbia). We miss everyone back in Pittsburgh, but our new neighbors have welcomed us warmly and the kids are thriving, which was always our main concern. Being so close to Jai's family is the huge win we knew it would be.

Dylan is loving kindergarden and taking Karate classes. Logan is potty trained (the pure pride when he says "I used the Potty all by myself!" is pure Norman Rockwell). Chloe says about 100 words, most of which melt my heart. Unfortunately, she recently learned "no no no no no," which she treats as one word. Jai is redecorating (i.e. "nesting") in our new home. We have a wonderful nanny Rachel, and Laura from Pittsburgh comes down to help out, which has made it possible for us to travel occassionally.

We are starting to look into our options regarding Hospice care when the time comes, but Jai & I are very pleased with having goten the kids into their new routine and so settled in advance of the coming storm.

大家都知道，在我的临终诊断后我们搬到维吉尼亚州; 是希望我们的家庭尽快安顿下来。实践证明, 这是正确的选择。这里的生活容易安排的多（天气暖和，住在郊外的半封闭街区） 。我们非常想念在匹兹堡的每个人，但我们的新邻居对我们很热情，孩子们在茁壮成长，这是我们最关切的。与洁的家人如此接近是个大便利，我们就知道会是这样的。

迪伦喜欢幼儿园，在学习空手道。洛根能自己上厕所了（当他说 "我一个人上的厕所！" 时的自豪真是令人鼓舞） 。 克娄依能说大约100个字了，大部分都让我心头发热。不幸的是，她最近学了"不不不不不"，把它当成了一个单词用。洁在重新装装饰（即"筑巢" ） ，我们的新家。我们有一个了不起的保姆雷切尔，加上从匹兹堡来的劳拉帮忙，这使得我们有可能偶尔出外旅行。

我们现在正始选择当最后时刻到来时的临终关怀医院，但洁和我非常高兴在暴风雨来临前我们就让孩子们能安定的融入新生活常规。

11月28日：以浮名换公益

<;a href="http://www.randypausch.com">

Jai & I have been trying to see how we can use my D-list celebrity (apologies to Kathy Griffin) for good. I'm working with both the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN) and the Lustgarten Foundation, doing things like videotaping public service announcements and meeting with lawmakers up in Washington, DC. One reason pancreatic cancer is such an "orphan" disease is that we don't have many long-term survivors to lead marches on Washington. So I'm trying to sort of become the "Michael J. Fox of pancreatic cancer."

洁和我一直在努力看我们能如何利用我的三流名人(抱歉凯茜格里芬)身份做些公益。我正在和美国胰腺癌行动网 和拉斯特.盖腾基金会协作， 拍摄一些公益广告， 并和华盛顿的议员们会面。 胰腺癌长期不受重视的原因之一是我们没有多少长期生存者可以到华盛顿游行情愿。 所以我正努力成为对抗胰腺癌的迈可尔.福克斯 。 (加拿大演员, 帕金森氏病患者, , 致力于推动对该病的研究,译者注)

11月27日，留给后人的时间管理讲座

The lecture I thought I would be famous for at the end of my career was the talk I give ocassionally on "Time Mangement." I was able to travel to the University of Virginia and give it today. Great thanks to Gabe Robins for his herculean efforts.

I spoke in Old Cabell Hall, which is an amazing theater; 180 degree spread and very vertical; it seats 850 and you feel like you can touch any of them at arm's length. It was important for me to give this lecture and have it properly videotaped: now that we've seen how effective Google Video is at allowing a talk to be widely viewed, I'd like for the information in this talk to be freely available for anyone who might benefit. Plus, it was great to see my old colleages, and my family was able to converge and we all got together, so it was just a great day.

The talk is available here.

我过去以为在我的职业生涯结束时, 我闻名于世的讲演会是我时而做的"时间管理”的讲座. 今天我到维吉尼亚大学，做了这一讲演。 非常感谢盖碧.罗宾丝的巨大努力。 

我的演讲在宏伟的老凯贝尔礼堂，听众席180度展开而且相当垂直延伸，它的850个席位让你感到每个人都触手可及。我很看重这个演讲并要有妥善的录像：现在我们都看到，谷歌视频是如何有效的让一个讲演广泛传播，我希望任何一个可能受益的人都能无偿的看到我的讲话。另外，见到我的老同事也很高兴，我的家人也聚在了一起。真是很棒的一天！ 

讲演可以在这里看到。

11月27日 “最后的演讲”出书

When Jeff Zaslow's column appeared in the Wall Street Journal (WSJ), about a dozen publishers emailed me, asked if I would be willing to write a book based on it. (I found this laughable, since at the time the palliative chemo was not yet working, and I thought I was down to about 6 weeks of good health). When the palliative chemo started working and we had some breathing room, I mentioned this to Jai, and she told me she wanted to do it. She was, in fact, quite emphatic. We had always talked about my "writing the manual" for her and the kids in my remaining time, and Jai felt that if it were a "real" project, I might take it much more seriously.

Jeff Zaslow from the WSJ, who is a terrific writer, was willing to be my partner and do the heavy lifting, so the deal we struck is that we would do the book together as partners, but he would write it (my colleagues from the Alice team are smiling, as they're familiar with this model of my "authoring" a book). The wonderful part is that this takes almost no time from the family: each day, I ride my bike for an hour and talk with Jeff on the cellphone. The process has already been wonderful; he's great at dragging stuff out of me I would never have dredged by myself.

I've grown a little disappointed with the news media: there were early reports that Jeff was somehow "cashing in" on my story, which is simply not true. Neither he nor<;;;/strong> I were "cashing in," for that matter (the book getting a large advance-on-royalties took us both by surprise) - but I thought it was particularly unfair that some early stories made it look like he was somehow doing this by himself.

11月27日，天哪! 狮子, 老虎和奖章

In the last month, I've received a number of professional awards. I would be disingenuous if I didn't admit that I don't feel these are really deserved; after all, there's the "give the dying guy an award" factor. However, they all reflect favorably on Carnegie Mellon and I accept them all gratefully. As they say, "Dying is a good career move." :-)

Specifically,

ACM SIGCSE Outstanding Educator Award: this is wonderful because it comes with a keynote address where I can talk about Alice at the annual conference. It's March 12. Through the wonders of videotape, I'll give that talk "Dead or Alive" ;-)

ACM Karl V. Karlstrom Outstanding Educator Award : this was very touching because it was Andy van Dam who called to tell me.

ACM Fellow: I'm not sure I deserved this, but I'm very honored by it.

上个月我收到了很多专业级奖项。说实话, 我不配拿这些奖.而且，这其中有点"颁奖安慰快死的人"。但是， 这些奖项对卡内基梅隆大学都是加分，所以我都感谢激接受。常言说得好, "死亡让事业更上一层楼":-)

特别是以下奖项:

美国计算机学会计算机科学教育专业组杰出教育奖：这太好了, 因为它附带了一个主题演讲的邀请，我可以在年会上谈谈爱丽斯项目. 时间是3月12号, 通过神奇的录像带, 我不论生死都可以讲演。 :-)

美国计算机学会卡尔. 卡尔斯佐姆杰出教育奖：安迪.凡丹打电话通知我的,让这一奖对我更有意义。

 美国计算机学会院士：不知道是否配这个奖，但我倍感荣幸。

爱丽斯勋章

Alice Merit badge for Girl Scouts, made by a single troup more as a lark than anything else. But dang, this really made my day!

给女童子军的爱丽斯勋章，一个女童军的玩笑．但，这让我高兴了一天！

11月19日:匹兹堡市的兰迪.波许日

November 19th was declared "Randy Pausch Day" by the city of Pittsburgh. Randy Bryant was kind enough to accept the award in person, and they phoned me and said nice things about how I had shown the world how great Carnegie Mellon and Pittsburgh are.

匹兹堡市宣布把11月19日定为“兰迪.波许日”。兰迪·布赖恩特非常好，帮我去领了这个奖. 他们给我打电话赞扬我向世界展示了卡内基梅隆大学和匹兹堡市的优秀。

这只秃鹰知道什么?

On the way to the Police concert, we stopped in Williamsburg. Jai thought it was hysterical that a turkey vulture followed me around for several hours during a walk.

He's in the tree in the lower picture.

在去“警察”音乐会途中，我们在威廉斯堡逗留。一路上一只秃鹰跟了我几个小时，洁觉得很可笑。

下面的照片中它就在树上。

2007年11月6日 与“警察”亲密接触

Jai &I took our first kidless vacation in a long time.

We went on a three day, three night adventure to Williamsburg and Charlottesville. At UVa, we saw "The Police" perform. The concert is truly terrific.

Jai is a huge Police fan, so imagine her surprise when we were whisked backstage to get to meet the band! Great thanks to Gabe Robins and others at UVa who made this possible.

洁和我重温没有小孩的双人假期.

我 们去了威廉斯堡和夏洛茨维尔(&;#24343;吉尼亚大学所在地) 共度了三昼夜的美好时光。在弗吉尼亚大学我们观看了“警察”乐队的表演。音乐会绝对是棒极了。洁是“警察”的超级粉丝，所以我们被带到到后台去见乐队成员 时她真是喜出望外。万分感谢盖碧.罗宾丝和其他弗吉尼亚大学的朋友们的精心安排。

2007年10月31日 万圣节快乐！！

What an "Incredible" family we are!!

Medical update: Things are going well. I get chemotherapy once a week, and it has some side effects but has not been dramatically affecting my super powers.

瞧我们这一家”超人”

治疗状况更新：一切还都不错。我一周一次化疗，有些副作用，但还不怎么影响我的超能。

2007年10月19日 姑息化疗有效！！！！

On Oct 1st, I had a CT-scan, and a follow-up PET-CT scan on Oct 13th. Both confirmed that we are willing: The tumors in my spleen are now gone, and the dozen or so tumors in my liver are all either stable or slightly smaller.

This happens in something like 15% of the cases of people who get gemcitabine+tarceva. It's a lottery, and I'm a winner. Statistically, this means I probably just bought an extra 2-4 months of good health. Said another way, I may have just doubled my life expectancy - you try to do that!

Most importantly, that buys me time to pursue "plan B" - the gemcitabine+tarceva will not last forever, and we want to have the next thing cued up and ready to go.

I am currently looking into other chemotherapies, some vaccination approaches (including a custom vaccine that would be made from my own cancer cells), and some super-secret stuff I'm not at liberty to talk about. But it is safe to say that I am thrilled with the quality of medical care I'm receiving and that I feel like I'm getting the cutting edge stuff that my species can provide for me.

Having said that, "winning" means buying time; I will always hold out hope that a miracle cure is developed that would give me a normal life span, but right now we're fighting to stay alive a few more months at a time.,

My quality of life is very good: I ride my bike an hour a day, play as much as I want with my kids, and enjoy being married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I have interimittant gut pain, some fatigue, and some mild "flu like symptoms" each week, approximately 24-72 hours after the chemo, but it's manageable. Small price to pay for walking around.

10月1日，我做了个计算机断层扫描，接着13号又做了个正电子影像断层扫描。结果如我们所愿：脾的肿瘤消失了，肝脏处的大约12个肿瘤要么维持原状要么略微缩小。 

只有15%左右的病人对剑泽合并爱罗替尼的疗法有反应。这是抽奖, 我现在是赢家。按照统计学来说，这意味着我可能可以再多享有2-4个月的健康。换句话说，我将我的预期生命翻了一番-你能做到吗！

最重要的是，这给了我寻找二号方案的时间--剑泽合并爱罗替尼不会一直有效，我们要安排好下一个候补疗法。 

目前我在探索些其它的化疗方案，疫苗疗法（包括用我自身癌症细胞制造疫苗），还有其它一些在此我不便公开的疗法。 但我可以说的是我非常高兴我有质量是一流的医疗看护,我觉得人类所有的最新医疗手段我都得到了。 

话又说回来，”赢”现在意味着争取时间；我总怀有希望奇迹出现，新疗法能使我生命延长如常人，但目前我们的奋斗目标是每次多活几个月。 

我的生活质量还是很不错的：每天骑一小时自行车，和孩子尽享天伦，并与这世界上最好的女人齐眉举案。我时不时有肚子痛，有些疲劳，并且每周在化疗后大约24-72小时有类似流感的症状，但都还好。对能活着而言这只是小代价而已。 

2007年9月4日带迪伦与海豚共嬉戏

I'm sorry it took me so long to post this: I've obviously been a little busy. Shortly after my terminal diagnosis, I knew that one of my biggest priorities was to create memories for my children.

Chloe and Logan are both so young that it's likely they'll have no direct memories of me. Dylan is the oldest, and at 5 (turns 6 in December), his memories are likely to be fuzzy. Hence the engineering question: What would make for the sharpest, most visceral memory, esp. for a kid who loves animals? Answer: go for a Dolphin Swim!'

Dylan and I spent a glorious 4 day, 3 night "Daddy and Dylan" vacation in Orlando, where we visited the Magic Kingdom and swam with Dolphins at Discovery Cove (both places were absolutely incredible to us, providing admission, special opportunities, and most importantly, photographers to help provide images that will reinforce the memories. I have an incredible number of photos, but here are a few that I hope Dylan will cherish after I'm gone....

真抱歉过了这么久才发这个帖子：显然我有些忙。在得知我临终的诊断结果没多久，我就想到我最宝贵的遗产之一就是给我的孩子们留些回忆。

克娄依和娄更太小了，应该无法对我留下什么直接的记忆。迪伦是最大的一个，已经5岁了（12月就要6岁了），他应该有些模糊印象。这就带来一个工程学问题：怎样才能留下最清晰, 最刻骨铭心的记忆, 特别是对于一个喜爱动物的孩子? 答案：与海豚共嬉戏！

我 和迪伦在奥兰多共度了4天3夜的辉煌假期，在那我们看了魔幻王国(迪斯尼世界四大主题公园之一)，在探索海湾(奥兰多的一个主题公园)与海豚共嬉戏（对我 们来说这两个地方都太不可思议了，提供门票及特别机会, 最重要的是，摄影师帮忙拍的照片将会加深记忆).我有很多很多的照片，但这里是几张我希望在我走后迪伦会珍爱的……

 2007年8月31日 ：开始姑息化疗

Yesterday I got my first round of Gemcitabine. We'll add Tarceva next week. In the first 36 hours, I've experienced zero side effects (yeah!). And tomorrow Dylan & I are taking a 3 day "Dylan and Daddy trip" to Florida to do a dolphin swim and see Mickey Mouse!

昨天我开始了我用剑泽的第一个疗程，下周就要开始加用爱罗替尼了。在最初的36小时，完全没有副作用呦呼！）明天我和迪伦和我要飞往佛罗里达开始3天的亲子旅行，我们要和海豚一起游泳还会去看米老鼠！

2007年8月26日 “一念天堂，一念地狱”

The best of times, in that about three weeks ago, my health really, really came back.  I've been lifting weights 3 times a week, and I ride my bicycle an hour each morning, at about the same pace I did before the cancer struck.  I once again bounce while walking down the hallway, and as you can see, I can lift and play with all three kids with vigor. (these pictures taken yesterday).

天堂,在三周前，我的健康体魄确确实实又回来啦。我每周举重3次，每天清晨跟我患癌前的速度一样骑一个小时的自行车。我再一次可以蹦蹦哒哒的在走廊里走,你可以看到，我可以劲头十足的举起三个孩子并和他们玩耍。（照片是昨天拍的）

It is also the worst of times; a recent CT scan showed that there are 10 tumors in my liver, and my spleen is also peppered with small tumors.  The doctors say that it is one of the most aggressive recurrences they have ever seen.  The doctors are quick to point out they're very bad at predicting "how much time," but the consensus seems to be that I have 3-6 months of relatively good health.  After that, it's hard to say how rapid a decline, and it's not a particularly pretty way to go.  As we have known from the beginning, there is no effective treatment at this point; I'll go on palliative chemo to try to buy time; that works for 15%-20% of the cases, but only buys another few months.  We have confirmed the CT scan diagnosis via blood markers and a needle biopsy; the diagnosis is undeniable.

地 狱，最近的CT扫描显示在我的肝上有10个肿瘤，我的脾周围也有许多小肿瘤。医生说这是他们见到过的最厉害的复发。医生接着指出他们很难估计我还有多长的 生命，但一般共识是我还可以有3-6个月的健康。在那之后，很难说病情恶化会有多快, 而那最后一段时光将会很难过. 从一开始我们就知道，目前还没有有效的治疗手段；我将继续姑息化疗以争取时间；大概有15%~20%的病患会对治疗敏感, 但只是几个月而已。CT诊断已经通过血液标志物检查及针刺活检确认, 不容置疑。

现在如何？

My wife, Jai, and I have had a long time to consider this possibility, and we believe it will be best for my wife and our children to be near family in Virginia, just south of Norfolk.  Our plan is to head down over Labor Day weekend, so Dylan can start Kindergarden there Sept 4th.  We can't close on a house that fast, but we will rent a beach house nearby as interim housing.

This is obviously not how I wanted things to turn out, but my wife and I have no regrets; we did everything I could to maximize my odds.  And we want to thank everyone who has so graciously helped us. 

The really weird part of all this is that I'm not depressed.  I'm not in denial (I assure you, I am fully aware of what is going to happen), nor am I whistling in the dark, but after having felt crappy and sick for 11 months, to finally be fully healthy again is so exhilarating that it's a wonderful emotional buoy.  So I am going to enjoy each day very fully, and play hard with my kids until I can't. 

I apologize to those of you I wasn't able to share this news with in person.  Since many people have asked me the same questions, I have taken the liberty of answering them straightforwardly here:

What will happen to the Entertainment Technology Center (etc.cmu.edu)?

I actually stepped down from the ETC in January of 2006, and Don Marinelli has been solely in charge since then, so there's absolutely no impact there.

What will happen to the Alice project (www.alice.org)?

I have been the public face of the project for a long time, but the truth is that it had already grown to be a collaboration between several universities, with four or five main PIs.  The Alice team is fully committed to the project, and to releasing Alice v3.0 (including teaching with Java and using the Sims characters) in 2008. I have met with Peter Lee, Dan Siewiorek, Randy Bryant, and Jared Cohon, all of whom have expressed how committed Carnegie Mellon is to ensuring the Alice project continues smoothly. 

Are you leaving Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon for good?

Absolutely not.  We are relocating the family quickly so we can start Dylan on the first day of Kindergarden, but I will be making trips back to Carnegie Mellon, and I am on email and reachable by phone.  In fact, I'm scheduled to give a talk at Carnegie Mellon on Sept 18th.

What should we not do?

The experts have counseled us that we should not yet tell our children, so please keep that in mind if you see us in person, leave messages on our answering machine, etc.

I want to close by once again thanking everyone at Carnegie Mellon, our church, and our friends and family, who have been so wonderful to us.  We are very grateful, and we are sorry this story doesn't have a happier ending.

我的妻子洁和我有很长时间来考虑这种可能，并认为去维吉尼亚州诺福克南面,靠近其他家人,是最明智的选择。我们计划在(美国)劳动节的周末去，这样迪伦就可以在9月4号开始读幼儿园了。这么短的时间我们是没办法买房，但是我们可以先租一个海边度假房来过渡一下。

显然这不是我所希望的结果，但我们并不后悔；我们已经做了一切可以提高我存活机率的事情。我们感谢各位给我们的巨大帮助。

说 到这里，最不同寻常的应该是我并没有绝望。我并不是不敢承认（我保证我充分知晓什么将会发生），我也没有走夜路, 吹口哨, 虚张声势，但在承受病痛煎熬的11个月以后，又能重获健康是件多么令人欢欣雀跃的事情。所以我将在后面的日子里尽情欢笑，与我的孩子尽享天伦，直到那一天 ---

抱歉我不能当面把这些情况告诉你们每一位。在此，我就将很多人都关心的问题一并回答：

娱乐技术中心将何去何从？

我实际上从2006年1月就已经卸任。从那时，唐.麦瑞乃里就已经独自负责了，所以实际上不会有任何影响。

爱丽丝程序计划桨有什么影响？（http://www.alice.org/）

我 作为这个项目的官方形象已经很久了，但实际上这个项目已经发展为几所大学的校际协作项目，有4,5个学术带头人. 爱丽丝团队对这个项目负责到底，并将于2008年发布爱丽丝版本3.0（包括用Java教学和使用“模拟人生”游戏人物）。我已经见过皮特.李, 丹尼尔.斯维瑞克, 兰迪.布莱恩特和杰瑞.科恩，他们都表示卡内基梅隆将继续支持使爱丽丝计划的顺利发展。

你要永远地离开匹兹堡和卡内基梅隆么？

绝对不会。我们迅速的搬家是为了迪伦可以按时上幼儿园，打电话发邮件都可以联络到我，我还将时不时地回卡内基梅隆来。在9月18日我就将在卡内基梅隆进行一次演讲。

我们不要做什么呢？

专家劝告我们暂时不要让我们的孩子知道这件事，所以如果碰到我们, 或在电话答录机上留言之类的情况时请留意.

最后我还是要感谢卡耐基梅隆的各位，我们的教会，我们的家人及朋友，你们对我们关怀备至。我们非常感激，很遗憾没能让各位看到一个更为圆满的结局。

On Monday, I got the last dose of the vaccine at Johns Hopkins. Just like the previous two innoculations, I got six injections (two per thigh and two on my left arm), and they have swelled up like massive bee stings (8 inch wide welts). But no real pain; just a little itching. I'll go back in every six months for a booster shot, but that's a long ways off.

Interestingly, this marks the last thing I can do to help myself, which is a little unnerving. I'm channeling that anxiety into starting to hit the gym with real vigor - building my body up in case there are more surgeries or chemo down the road....

周一，我进行了最后一次约翰霍普金斯疫苗法的治疗。就像前两次治疗一样，我被注射了6次（大腿各2次，左臂两次），它们肿的就好像被一群蜜蜂蜇了一样（8英寸宽的伤痕）。但实际上并不痛，只是有些痒。每过六个月我要再回来进行增强注射，但那是很久以后的事情了。

有趣的是，这是我能做得最后一件帮助自己的事情，多少有些让人不安。我把这不安转化成开始到体育馆锻炼身体的别样热情，以备未来有更多的手术和化疗……

2007年7月9日：我赖以生存的人们

I thought you might like to see some photos of the folks who are working overtime to keep me alive. Here is my surgeon, Dr. Herb Zeh. He has performed hundreds of Whipple surgeries, and based on my experience, really knows what he's doing. Just as important, he gave me his email and cellphone info, and said to call him anytime, which he's honored.

In addition to surgery, he conducts research on vaccine-based approaches, which could really make a difference: to support that research, please contact Kambra McConnel in the Development Department for the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute at (412) 623-4700 or email her at mcconnelk@upmc.edu . Donations also may be made payable to “UPCI/Pancreatic Cancer Research/Liver Pancreas Institute” (in the “memo” section of the check, if applicable, please note that your gift is given in my honor and for support of Dr. Zeh’s research) and mailed to: Development Dept., UPMC Cancer Pavilion, Suite 1B, 5150 Centre Avenue, Pittsburgh PA 15232 .

我想你们可能想看看那些加班加点拯救我生命的人们。这是我的外科医生，赫伯特.泽。他做过数以百计的胰十二指肠切除术(Whipple)，从我的切身体会, 他确是有真才实学。特别是, 他给我了他的电子邮件地址及手机号码，他说他会随叫随到,并深感荣幸。

除了外科手术，他还研究可能会带来突破性进展的疫苗疗法. 如果要支持研究的话，请联络匹兹堡大学癌症研究院 (捐款细节参见原文).

2007年7月9日：我赖以生存的人们 (二)

This is Dr. Robert Wolff, my primary oncologist and the person I met with regularly at MD Anderson. He also responds to email, and has the wonderful property that he doesn't sugar-coat anything. His medical experience mitigating side-effects and helping provide emotional perspective on the whole experrience were invaluable.

(My five year old was very curious "Why Dr. Wolff wasn't an animal doctor. :-)

这是罗伯特.沃尔夫医生，我的主要肿瘤科专家，我们会定期在德州大学安德生癌症中心会面。他也会回复邮件，他最大的优点是坦率。他的医学经验无论对减轻副作用，还是对整个治疗过程提供情绪支持都是非常有益的。

（5五岁的儿子总是很好奇“为什么狼(沃尔夫与狼谐音)医生，不是兽医呢?”）

2007年6月28日：&;#32422;翰霍普金斯大学疫苗疗法的第二疗程

Yesterday I received the second round of the Johns Hopkins vaccine. No drama, no pain; just six needle sticks that are slowly growing into 8-inch across painless welts on my arms and legs - kinda cool, actually. Doesn't hurt a bit.

昨天我开始了约翰霍普金斯疫苗疗法的第二疗程。低调无痛；仅仅是6个针孔慢慢的在我的腿和手臂上长成无痛的8英寸的伤痕-实际上还真有点酷，一点都不痛。

2007年6月6日：情绪的过山车够了，来个身体的吧!

After all the recent emotional roller coaster rides, we decided it was time for some real ones, so off we went to Kennywood, Pittsburgh's classic roller coaster park. Today was special because it was the first roller coaster ride for our middle child, Logan (2 1/2 years old).

Of course, you can't really see his face in this picture, as he's (naturally) got his hands in the air.

A more complete set of photos of our day is here.

最近经历了足够情绪的跌宕起伏过山车，我们决定要体验一下真家伙，所以我们去了肯尼勿徳, 匹兹堡经典的过山车公园。今天也是个特殊的日子，因为我的二儿子娄更(2岁半）第一次坐过山车。 

当然，你没办法在这张照片里很清楚地看到他的脸，因为(很自然的)他的手臂在空中挥舞。 

点击这你可以看到我们几天的全部照片。

One of my quirkier hobbies is winning stuffed animals at amusement parks, and it was comforting to see the cancer hasn't diminished my skills too much.

In answer to your next two questions:

1) By tossing a softball into a milk can

2) It took four tries, at $2 a try.

我有个特殊的癖好就是在游乐园赢填充玩具，让人欣慰的是癌症并没有怎么降低我的水平。

回答你们接下来的两个问题：

1）    把一个软球仍到一个牛奶罐里

2）    一共试了4次，每次2美金。

2007年6月1日：是个囊肿！我接种疫苗了……

昨天的MRI确认CT扫描所见的确是个囊肿。（见下面：躲闪子弹）（MRI也显示其他小伤损很可能不是癌性的）。哟！！昨天我接种了&;;#30123;苗：6次注射（两条大 腿，左臂各两次），右臂切了一小片组织做活检，大到需要缝两针…并没有明显的疼痛或副作用。我要连续四天回来进行血样测试以测量疫苗的吸收情况。我母亲就 住在约翰霍普金斯附近，这周末我们全家要去看望她。约翰霍普金斯的工作人员非常友善。研究员Barbara Biedrzycki星期日还来加班，这样我就不用整个下周都留下了。这一段人生旅途真是让我见到很多大好人。

2007年5月30日：躲闪子弹

Yesterday I went to qualify for the Johns Hopkins Vaccine. I knew this involved another CT scan, which is always a chance to get bad news. Only this time I actually got bad news. For details, click here. (it's a good story).

Fortunately, this ended up being yet another false positive. These moments (there were two in Houston), are probably even harder than the chemo and radiation. As I said to my wife, Jai, I don't know how many more bullets I can dodge...

This delays my starting on the vaccine by a few days, but it also reminds me how much I value every day with my family.

昨天我参加了约翰霍普金斯疫苗疗法的筛选。我知道这又要进行一次CT扫描，而每次都有可能得到坏消息。但这次，我真的得到了坏消息。详情，请看这里。（不错的故事）

幸运的是，这又是虚惊一场。这样的时刻(在Houston已经有两次了）真的比化疗放疗更令人煎熬。我对我的爱妻洁说我不知道还有多少子弹我能躲……

这使我的接种疫苗推迟了几天，却让我意识到与家人的每一天对我都是弥足珍贵。

2007年5月25日：缝合处还撑得住吧……

My lovely wife Jai and I just spent 48 hours, sans kids, celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary at Nemacolin, where they have a zip line.

I sent a copy of this photo to my surgeon, with the tagline "I guess the stiches are holding up okay"...

我和我亲爱的洁刚刚在纳玛科琳度过了48小时的二人世界来庆祝我们的结婚7周年纪念。那里有一条滑行索. 我把这张照片发给我的外科医生，附言：“缝合的应该还不错”

2007年5月22日：增肥到可以重新戴上婚戒了！

When this all began, I was 182 pounds. At my low point, I was down to 139, a 43-pound loss. One of the most depressing things about this was that I had to stop wearing my wedding ring, as it kept falling off and I was afraid I'd lose it. I'm now back up to 168 (and I really only want to get back to 175, not 182), and my wedding ring stays on again - yeah!

原来我的体重是182磅。在最轻的时候，我只有139斤，整整少了43磅。最令我难过的是我不能戴婚戒。因为消瘦它总是滑落，我怕不小心遗失了它。现在我又恢复到168磅（我可只想增肥到175磅，182就算了），婚戒不再滑落了,嘿!

2007年5月15日：生命如抛硬币...

2007年5月6日：玩腰旗美式足球！？！？！

Six days after being unhooked from the chemo, I was back on the field with my rec-league flag football team. First play of the game, I caught a 25-year pass over the middle.

Granted, I was sucking wind the whole game, but damn it's good to be back on the field.

化疗结束后6天，我又重回我的休闲俱乐部腰旗橄榄球队。一开局, 我就接到一个中场的25码传球。当然整个比赛中我表现很糟糕，但重回战场的感觉棒极了。

2007年5月4日：治疗结束啦！！！！

On Monday, I completed my chemotherapy! They removed my PICC line, and it feels so good to have it gone! My family had a great celebration for me: here are the boys with the balloons. Chloe celebrated by taking some of her first steps! I have started exercising again, starting with bike riding. I have no stamina, but that will come back with time. My last CT scan was clear, and my CA19-9 is 19, well within the normal range. Meaning that - for now - there's no detectable sign of cancer in my body. I am still a looooong way from winning the battle, but every day I don't lose is a day closer to achieving long-term victory.

I'm still somewhat weakened by the six months of chemo, but by June 1, I should be back to full health.  I have already regained 18 of the 43 pounds I had lost.

My long-term odds remain 45%, but I am highly optimistic that I am going to win the coin toss.

周一我完成化疗啦！他们拿掉了我的外周中心静脉导管， 这感觉真好！我们全家为此进行了庆祝：这是举着气球的男孩们。克娄依用首次走路来表示庆祝！我又开始锻炼了，以自行车骑行开始吧。我现在精力不行，但那会 慢慢回来的。我最新的一次CT扫描没问题，我的肿瘤抗原指标CA19-9是19，完全在正常的范围内。这意味着至少目前我体内还没有癌症的迹象。当然要打 赢这场仗我还有很长很长的路，我会步步为营来争取长期的胜利。

因为6个月的化疗，我现在还有些虚弱，但到6月1日，我应该会完全恢复。我已经抢回了丢掉的43磅中的18磅。

我长期的存活机率仍然是45%，但我非常乐观的相信我将会在抛硬币中获胜。

维吉尼亚梅森疗法被重复！！！！！

When I had to pick a course of treatment after my surgery, the "standard of care" chemotherapy had a 15% 5-year survival rate (or an 85% death rate, if you prefer...).

I gambled on the highly toxic "Virginia Mason protocol," which was getting about 45% of people to live to 5 years... but those results were based on only 100 people, all at the Virginia Mason Hospital. As a scientist, we don't like climbing out on those kinds of limbs. But in this case, as Janis Joplin sang, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

So imagine how thrilled I was when I discovered that Washington University in St. Louis had replicated these results! It's a great comfort to know that I bet on the right horse... as toxic as this treatment has been, it would have really been awful if I were to find out that it wasn't really a better approach. Now, it appears clear that it is.

在我的手术后进行治疗方法选择的时候，“标准的治疗”化疗有15%的5年的存活率（如果你愿意的话，也可以说是85%的死亡率……）

我把宝押在了高毒性的维吉尼亚梅森方案，毕竟它使大约45%的人活到了5年……但这数字仅仅是基于100名维吉尼亚梅森医院的患者的情况。作为科学家，我们不喜欢这样子的小样本。但此时此刻，正如Janis Joplin唱的那样：“自由是一无所有者的一切。”

所以不难想象当我发现在St. Louis的Washington大学再次证明这结果时我是如何的狂喜。知道押对了宝真是让我倍感欣慰……因为这个疗法是高毒性的，如果我发现它并不比别的疗法有效，那感觉真会糟透了。现在，我知道我做了明智的选择。